Paradox Me

how can i possibly explain to you that
somehow i am both ends of the magnet
and every day i crawl into your arms with a
rope around my neck
screaming softly in your ear
that i love/hate hating/loving you

and no

i don’t get why
two days ago i rubbed my arm with an alcohol swab to clean off the blood from a
mistake but not an accident
i don’t get why i mop up the mess as i make it

and no

stop telling me to not let the demons win
today
demons will go away with 100 mm or 200 mm and maybe nausea call me in a week
today
because there’s only one demon and it’s me
every day

finger to  my lips, you slip the rope off my neck
polarize me until the room stops spinning

Advertisements