almost ready

i dug myself a well
just to be alone down here
at the bottom.

ignoring light and sound
i sit, knees tucked,
on the damp leaves and crumpled cigarettes,
the dirt and the vine.

i will not look for answers.
i will not metabolize,
and i will not consume.

she calls for me above,
up there in the blue forever,
but i take a drag
and pull my legs closer to my chest.
i rest my forehead on
the cool, wet stone.

i know i need to leave this place,
but right now
i can’t handle anything,
anything at all,
so i smoke and smoke till
haze descends
and i forget, fall asleep.


2 thoughts on “almost ready

  1. I’m going through your posts, and I really connect to your writing. I think it’s sincere and so open. I’m glad I found your blog, and I hope you keep posting more and more. I really like this one; I feel like I can relate, even though I’m not a smoker myself (though I’m always burning incense in my bedroom… does that count?).

    – Lira


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